Love the One (and Clutter) You're With

February is the month of love, so let’s talk about something that can come between even the happiest couples—clutter! You might chuckle, but I’ve seen small piles of “stuff” turn into big relationship divides. Early in my career, I’d get calls from frustrated spouses asking if I could “fix” their partner’s disorganization. My answer? No. Because getting organized is like getting in shape—they have to want it. If they don’t, any change won’t last, and disappointment will follow.

When two people come together, they bring their lifetime of habits—and belongings—with them. Then they start accumulating more stuff together. The challenge? Partners often have very different ideas of what “organized” means. Sound familiar?

Here are five ways to bring more harmony into your shared space:

1: People have to want to change. You can’t force your partner to be more organized, but you can help them see the benefits—less stress, more harmony, and an easier time finding things.

2: Communicate expectations. Unspoken expectations lead to resentment. Talk about what’s important to you when it comes to shared space.

3: Create a plan together. Define what your ideal space looks like and how it should function. Getting on the same page prevents future frustration.

4: Claim your own spaces. Each person should have a small, judgment-free zone that’s theirs alone—no tidying, no critiques, just personal space.

5: Ask for help. If clutter is a constant source of tension, a fresh perspective from a coach, organizer, or therapist can help restore balance.

As Richard Bach said, “True love stories never have endings.” So let this be the start of a new, clutter-free chapter in yours!